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33 Funny Dentist Jokes & Puns | Dental Humor for Patients

When it’s time to go to the dentist, be ready with jokes to tell. Though the dentist is there to make sure your teeth are in excellent shape, a good joke can make the whole situation a lot more fun. If you’ve got a dentist appointment coming up, try these funny dentist jokes when you’re talking to the dentist before or after they work on your teeth.

Start Laughing Before Your Appointment

No matter your age, if you’ve got to go to the dentist, these jokes will be perfect.

  • What award did the dentist win? A little plaque.
  • What do dentists call the x-rays they take of patients’ teeth? Tooth pics.
  • What did the dentist say to the tooth when he had to leave the room? I’ll fill you in when I get back.
  • Which teeth do you need to brush? The ones you want to keep.
  • If a kid has 25 candy bars and they eat 22 of them, what do they have? Cavities.
  • What did the dentist say when Tiger Woods came in for an appointment? You have a hole in one.
  • My teeth were stained, so the dentist asked me, “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.

Jokes to Share in the Waiting Room

Do you like jokes that are a little bit longer? These jokes may be long, but they’re full of dental humor, so you and your dentist will enjoy them.

  • Patient: How much does it cost to have a tooth pulled? Dentist: $100. Patient: All that for only a few minutes of work? That’s expensive. Dentist: Don’t worry, I can pull it out slower if you’d like.
  • Dentist: Can you please help me? Scream as loud as you can, like you’re in a lot of pain. Patient: Why? My tooth isn’t hurting this time. Dentist: Because there are many patients in the waiting room, and I don’t want to miss the game!
  • Dentist: Do you floss? Patient: Yes, I floss religiously. Dentist: Really? Patient: Of course, on Christmas and Easter.
  • Patient: What did you do before becoming a dentist? Dentist: For a few years, I was in the army. Patient: Oh? What did you do? Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
  • The dentist told his patient to open wider. “My goodness!” he said. “You’ve got the biggest cavity I’ve seen, the biggest cavity I’ve seen.” “Ok,” said the patient, “but I’m scared enough. Do you need to repeat yourself?” “I didn’t,” said the dentist. “That was the echo.”
  • A young boy was sitting in the waiting room for a little bit after getting his tooth pulled. The receptionist asked him if he was ok. “Yes, but I didn’t like the bad word the dentist used while he was pulling my tooth.” “What did he say?” asked the receptionist, worried. “Oops.”
  • A young girl was talking to her dad about what she wanted to be when she grew up. She was thinking about becoming a heart doctor or a tooth doctor. “Dentist,” said her father. “Why?” the little girl asked. “We only have one heart, but we have 32 teeth.”
  • A man goes to the dentist to ask how much it would be to pull a tooth. “$100,” said the dentist. “Oh, that’s expensive,” said the main. “Do you have anything cheaper?” “That’s the normal price for an extraction,” said the dentist. The man thinks about it, “what about if you don’t use the anesthetic?” “Well, that would be unusual, but we could do that. It would be about $75.” The man thinks some more. “What about if you used a trainee and no anesthetic?” “Well,” said the dentist, ”I think that could work, but it would be a lot more painful. I think that would be about $35.” The man thought some more. “That’s still a lot. What if you make it a training session with a student doing the extraction, and the other students can watch?” The dentist says, “Ok, that would be good for the students, but it will be traumatic to have it done that way. I’ll charge you $5 for that.” “Great,” said the man. “That’s perfect. Can I book my wife for her appointment on Wednesday?

Giggle Along With Your Kids

Do you have kids with an upcoming dental visit? Try out these dental jokes for patients that are a bit younger – they’ll love them.

  • My dentist said I should try flossing more. I’ve started taking dance lessons now.
  • Who’s job is the most dangerous in Transylvania? The dentist who works on Dracula.
  • What does the dentist give a bear with a hurting tooth? Anything it wants.
  • What’s the dentist’s favorite kind of dinosaur? A floss-iraptor.
  • What made the snowman go to see a dentist? He was suffering from frostbite.
  • What does the dentist do when he’s on a roller coaster? Brace himself.
  • What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
  • What do tuba players use to brush their teeth? A tuba toothpaste.

Pun-derful Jokes You’ll Love Telling

If puns are more to your liking, check out these dental puns that will have you laughing through the appointment.

  • My dentist has a TV in the exam room. I go there for Netflix and drill.
  • I have to have a root canal done. Just the thought of it is unnerving.
  • My dentist asked me to open up, but I don’t know him well enough to confide in him.
  • Until it came out in conversation, no one knew she had a dental implant.
  • Dentists practice their trade by going through many drills.
  • The lawyer asked his dentist to give him a retainer.
  • In Panama, dental care is called a route canal.
  • Word-of-mouth was how I got my job at the dentist’s office.
  • He said to put my money where my mouth is, so I got gold fillings.
  • When I went to the dentist, he put all caps on my teeth. Now I can’t stop shouting.

If you’ve got a dental appointment coming up, try out these dentist jokes. You’ll have a good laugh and may enjoy the appointment a bit more.